Why I Stopped Setting New Years Goals (and what I do instead!)
Let's start this week with an admission. I have ‘failed’ more than once at achieving a big goal. Yep.
Here’s an example…
In January of 2021, I set a goal to speak at 16 speaking engagements by the end of the year. I wrote it down. I visualized it. I even created this cute paper chain to represent each event. But in the end, I only hit 12.
When I realized this, I felt so discouraged and bummed. I'd set a goal and I'd failed myself. But eventually, I realized that I needed to snap out of it. The fact was that I accomplished 12 speaking engagements in 2021! That is 3x more than the year before, and I was missing out on celebrating that because I was too focused on what I didn't get done.
The goal-setting mindset got me going, but it didn't actually leave me feeling accomplished or fulfilled because it had an ending attached to it. It was concrete, and it wasn't grounded in anything bigger or more meaningful.
Progress over Perfection
We've got to learn to celebrate ourselves and focus on the bigger picture.
Shifting my finite goal of 16 speaking engagements for 2021 into an infinite mindset would have sounded more like, “I want to become a more confident keynote speaker and podcast guest by learning how to face my fears and practicing more often in front of live crowds.” And guess what? I accomplished that!
Do you see the difference? It's really all about progress over perfection. We've got to learn to celebrate ourselves and focus on the bigger picture.
How do we do this? By LOOKING IN.
It's time to get in tune with yourself and ask some deeper questions about what you want to leave this world. What will people remember about you? What will your life represent or reflect? When you consider that big scary dream or feel a tug on your heart in a certain direction, what excites you about that? What fears arise? What about you makes you fully equipped to handle this assignment?
Looking inward is the first step towards a more infinite mindset, and ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life and career. So let’s start this together in 2023!
Here are a few journaling prompts to work through this month as you start to consider your 2023 intentions:
What has been your relationship with goal setting in the past?
Has there ever been a time where you vividly remember 1) hitting a goal and/or 2) giving up on a goal?
How did it make you feel?
How can leaning into progress over perfection and focusing on setting big, scary dreams (vs. finite goals) help you think big picture for your life and have more grace for yourself in the process?
Write out a few big-picture dreams and set some meaningful intentions for each as you look toward 2023. Keep in mind that this list is ever-evolving. You can take away, add on, and work out those dreams and intentions as you go, so give yourself all the grace!